The Untimely Misfortune of BenignUser

You can read later honey!

Potgenie doesn't log on until 9 PM my time! she's my beta!



Aana's story, working title is...

The True Forum Story of Gennai: A Pastafarian Tale of Brilliance and the Many Sides of the Aana the Mighty

I... actually like that title.

Major tudos to me!!

I love it, though I think it's a tad more epic than I deserve...

Let me be the awesome and epic judge!


Potgenie's after you! Then Matt! (I'm determined to write a story about everybody!)

Maybe I'll write Top Ten Lists about everybody, too. Hrm...

Once was enough... methinks.

Did I do a bad job?

Did I answer them publicly?

I never intended them to be answered. =o

Then what's the point?

The point was to laugh at silly exaggerated questions. ^_^

And didn't it serve it's purpose?

I give up.

I get a story, too??

YES!!!

You're after Aana!

You can get a Top Ten List, too, if you want one!

It's okay, I'm good! ^______^

I feel so unloved and unappreciated.

I want one!

If he does it and you answer, I'll answer mine!

Deal.

Last part!
Here we go! Not as epic as it could have been but oh well.
DISCLAIMER: I owe Potgenie so much for this... she was basically a co-author! As much as it may seem like it, I don't own BenignUser.
Hope you like this.

The Untimely Misfortune of BenignUser
Part 3
Hook, Line, and SinkHIM

Allow us to backtrack for a minute. Now Benign was living the high life, basking in his RP and StarCraft grandeur. He chose to be egotistical regarding both counts and flaunt his newfound glory in the faces of those he should have been more cautious of. Oh yes, it appeared as though the fame had gone right to his head.

ARC took his loss in stride. For it was merely a battle; the war was far from over. And our trench-coat-loving, piano-playing, money-grabbing Star Wars enthusiast was ready. Should Benign falter every so slightly, ARC was ready to swoop in, in typical guerilla warfare style. He planned to show Benign the true meaning of “blitzkrieg” using his clarinet of doom!

Gennai in particular watched from her throne of batpig bones, her ever-alert eyes following the activities of her world vigilantly. Benign was someone to look out for – the forum space for Ego was rapidly depleting. And it was during the rival of “Fangirl Moments” that Benign’s future took a turn for the worst.

Our “hero” thought himself slick. He figured that he could easily post a comical reply aimed at a few of the more active forum females. Benign decided to dub them his fangirls… and even better, he grew to believe this despite their plaintive rejections.

It was outrageous. It was blasphemous. It was utter and complete narcissism. It was…

Hardly a surprise.

Gennai decided to let him think he’d won. She even gave him his own thread, “Benign’s Finest Moment”, posted under the acclaimed “Legendary” section to take the ego-boosting to a whole new level. For you see, there was not much else he could boast – that one moment, one might hazard to say, was one of the peaks of his Old Age Life.

ARC had taken the cake, or booze, in the RP. Yuri was a crowd favorite. The genie ruled “FUN.” Gennai was an all around wonderful little sprite, flitting from one topic to another. The princess was just FUNsized, enough said. And everyone else was honkey dorey.

Sadly though, the three girls he dubbed his fans were, just like the typical dubbed variations of our favorite animes, less than pleased. Witty, sharp comments flew toward him from all sides, but somehow he managed to dodge them like a nimble thimble.

And to add insult to injury, his daring Imouto adopted new siblings. Siblings of the cooler variety at that. Benign was lost in a world where his value toward the princess had depreciated. He had fallen from being her only brother to being merely the "oldest one. He had become, overnight, the Yen to the Dollar. From “Onii-chan” to “Only me-chan”.

Feeling emotionally scared and terminally depressed, Benign stumbled his way through topic after topic, leaving behind a trail of questionable posts. Posts that caused of flurry of suspicion about the true relationship between him and “Imouto.” Truth be told, he truly adored her. But no matter how many times either of them denied it, the bloodhounds were never quenched.

It didn’t help the princess that he started arguments left and right.

He noticed her slipping, and with her against him he’d be alone. Gennai had drawn her battle lines, mostly because Benign liked to call Yagami Hikari psycho. The genie, who for the most part was neutral, was fed up with his awkward un-awesomeness. She decided to join the magnificent side of the forum, the side Benign was not on.

And whence came the “bikini-slave” incident… everyone had had enough of the crazy, strange, named after a kind of tumor author.

It was a cheerful day at the forum. Members were frolicking and HTMLs were buzzing. It was carefree. No one expected what was to come.

Especially not our blissfully oblivious “hero.” Benign had just changed his avatar and was merrily posting another of his character-altering posts when it happened.

The Final Showdown, initiated by none other than the crowd-favorite ARC.

But ARC was not alone, for standing at his side was Gennai, flanked gracefully by the genie and the princess.

Benign stood alone on the home page. The “total users online” read “5”. He was out-numbered. His allies were gone. The names of the enemies surrounded his.

What was he to do? Could he attack?

He didn’t think so. Benign knew he had nothing on these wickedly fantastic people. He paled in comparison with his meek un-cool-since-birth status.

They came from different planets: Pot, Awesome, Too-Fantastical-And-New-To-Be-Named (she recently moved there), and Azeroth. In contrast, he was a mere meek Earthling.

They had comedy, romance, suspense, horror, drama, and adventure (i.e. everything he didn't) on their side, not to mention they were just kick ass.

If you didn’t get the message the first time round:

He paled in comparison.

Benign’s fall came fast and swift. He never saw it coming; the Gods of Mystery, and possibly the Force that once favored him, had not been merciful. As ARC whipped out some weapons that shall not be named (mainly because of lack of knowledge), with an exception of possibly an AK-47, and Gennai stood ready with a whole cartful of witty repartees, Benign decided that the best thing to do would be to slink off into the darkness and back into his now dust-covered shell.

But it was not so… Benign’s incredibly meek and retreating form began to tremble.

Arms linked like longtime comrades, ARC and Gennai walked away from Benign’s crumpling figure. The genie and the princess skipped along happily behind them. For you see, there was really nothing they could do. They weren’t the the cause of his demise. While some might like to think that his end came at the hands of his enemies or his friends, that is simply untrue.

He imploded.

No matter how much deflation was done, his self-image was easily fed.

And so my lovies, the moral of the story is… big egos are bad. Do not end up like our “hero.” Or else, be prepared to face the terrors of the Forum of Awesome Doom (FAD!).

That was EPIC!!! I was laughing the whole way through.

Especially the money-grabbing part.

So how come only Aana and I took out weapons of mass destruction? What were you and Pot doing?