Here it is, finally... it can never top Sammy's but, I gave it a shot, so I hope it at least makes you laugh XD
Ken Ichijoji: Closet Headbanger by emotionless-robot
"Never before have I met anyone who was allergic to the colour beige
.” TK slurred, clinging to Ken. “You know what I’m talking about, man?”
“Er… yeah, sure.” Ken offered, trying to keep his inebriated friend from falling into an ungraceful heap on the ground.
TK may have played basketball, and therefore kept in peak physical condition, but it was off-season for soccer, and Ken most certainly wasn’t
in shape, which made his task all that much more difficult. However, after much grunting and heaving and panting, Ken managed to half-drag his drunken friend back to the Ichijoji residence, where thankfully, his parents were missing.
TK mumbled a bit more about his sorrows of life, stumbling, when he uttered a single, “Uh oh…” and ran in an uneven zigzag pattern to the bathroom, where he swiftly emptied the contents of his stomach. Ken could only hope he hadn’t missed his mark.
Sighing, the weary boy ran a hand over his face before entering the bathroom where TK grinned up at him, saying, “I feel a bit better now.”
“I’ll bet you do,” Ken muttered under his breath, cringing at the sight of the florescent pink upchuck displayed in his once porcelain-white toilet bowl. The stench did nothing to help Ken cover up the mess, and he internally wished he had had the sense to stop TK after the first couple of drinks. But of course not
. No genius would ever be smart enough to use common sense and prevent incidents like this from happening.
“But then again…” TK began, turning his head towards the toilet once more, “maybe not.” Retching sounds echoed through the apartment, and Ken couldn’t handle this
anymore. He needed reinforcements.
Inconspicuously stealing TK’s cell phone from his back pocket, Ken searched the contacts list until he found the one he was looking for: Yamato.
The phone trilled in his ear, and sooner than he expected, Matt’s voice replaced the mindless ringing.
“Hey, Teeks. Listen, I know you’re still mad about the whole pizza-thing, but I told you I’d make it up to you later, so there’s really no need to be mad at me, right? I mean, come on! It’s not like you’ve
never screwed me over before either! Just take a look at that coin-trick you pulled on me to win all my baseball cards and my old guitar. I forgave you for that… after severe groveling, obviously, and I don’t see how this is any different, okay? Can’t you just get over it and—”
“Umm… Matt? It’s Ken.” Ken said hesitantly, not wanting to interrupt the older boy’s rant.
“Oh! Uh, okay. Sorry about that, I thought you were TK because the caller ID said TK, so I thought that… yeah. Whatcha need?”
“I’m calling from TK’s cell, actually, because he can’t really call for himself right now. He’s sort of… busy.” The heaving sounds could be heard on Matt’s end of the line, and he told Ken, “Say no more, buddy. I’ll be over soon.”
Ken hung up, and went to go ensure TK wasn’t dead or drowning in a pool of his own vomit while he waited for Matt to show up.
To Ken, it seemed to take forever for Matt to show up, mainly because he honestly couldn’t wait to have TK taken off his hands. When he heard the knocking, Ken sprang from his position on the couch and eagerly opened the door for his guest.
“Where is he?” was the first thing Matt asked when he crossed the threshold into Ken’s house. The boy genius merely pointed to the evident noises emanating from the bathroom. Matt disappeared around the corner as he went to go verify his brother’s condition.
He came back moments later, shaking his head and chuckling.
“What’s so funny?” Ken enquired, anxious to be in on the joke.
“It’s just funny to see our roles reversed. I’ve seen him drunk before, but he’s always so amusing.”
“What happened the other times?” Ken, for some reason, didn’t just want the rockstar to take his brother and leave anymore—he hadn’t realized how much he wanted to be able to connect to the older generation of Digidestined until he was given the chance.
“Well, this one time I walked into TK’s room and found him in bed… with an onion.”
“Whole or halfed?”
“That’s… that’s simply barbaric.”
Matt laughed at Ken’s remark, and he clapped the Ichijoji son on his back, as if they were good friends. Or at least, perhaps on the way there.
“You’re a laugh, Ken.”
“Uh, thanks.” Ken uttered, flushing a bit from the praise. “Do you… do you want something to drink?”
“Sure, what have you got?” Matt acquiesced.
Ken offered, scratching the back of his neck, “My mom just made a batch of pink lemonade, if you want that.”
Matt grinned his seal of approval, and Ken went off to go get a glass of the bittersweet drink he loved. He rummaged around the fridge and cupboards to find the items he required, bemused by this new development in his social life. Ken sincerely wanted to be able to call Matt his friend—he may not have been a social butterfly, however he did
enjoy having friends—but he wasn’t sure if that was in the books. It would certainly take something spectacular to get himself to look good in Matt’s eyes…
Returning with the drink, Ken seemed to have lost Matt somewhere in his rather small house.
“Matt?” he called out, peering around the corners nervously, not knowing what to expect. There were no more puking sounds anymore, just a low moan that made Ken’s current circumstances slightly eerie and alarming. “Hel-lo
? Is anyone there?” Ken’s voice was borderline squeaky, and he clutched the glass of pink lemonade tighter in his hand. A muffled clunking noise alerted Ken to Matt’s presence, and he followed the clunk-clunk
into his bedroom, where Matt was very non-subtly shoving some of Ken’s CD’s up his shirt, creating the appearance of a misshapen belly on Matt’s otherwise flawless form.
“What are you doing?”
Matt spun towards Ken, blushing at being caught, and he stuttered, “Uh, I’m not sure what you mean there, Ken. I’m not really doing anything… just waiting for you…” He laughed nervously, trying to hide the bulge from Ken.
“Do you, uh, like my CD collection?” Ken pointed out, smirking.
“Yes!” Matt practically shouted, growing enthused. “I have no idea where you got some of these, but it’s incredible! I might have to borrow a few off of you sometime.”
“You know… the word borrowing
implies asking first…”
“Haha, oh yeah, I knew that. I was just, I mean, I couldn’t just leave
them there, I needed to touch them and… yeah, I got nothing.” Matt admitted, sliding the stolen disks out of his shirt, and putting them back in their respective places.
“So, you’re also a fan of old school rock n’ roll, I’m guessing?”
“Pretty much… although I must admit I’m kinda surprised by you. I suppose this is one of those situations where you tell me not to assume anything, because it makes me look like a complete idiot.”
“Or just a burglar.” Ken added, smiling. Matt laughed heartily, pink tingeing his cheeks at Ken’s casual mention of his unsuccessful sneaking attempts.
“Sorry about that, again. I don’t know what came over me.”
“It’s all good… no big deal. You can
borrow those CD’s, if you want, though. I think I can go a few days without them.” Ken passed Matt his overdue glass of pink lemonade as Matt’s eyes widened at Ken’s generous offer.
You don’t have a problem with that?” Ken shook his head, and Matt beamed, nearly wanting to kiss Ken for his charitable nature, but he refrained from permanently scarring Ken for life.
He had a rather distinct feeling he was certainly going to enjoy this new, blossoming friendship that was growing with the boy genius. That was absolute.