Jokes

Goggles · Subject: Re: Jokes Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:00 am

Neither can I...

Moving on; let me introduce you to the 5 Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.
3. And discover that the first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.
5. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

Sorry, I needed company.

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Potgenie · Subject: Re: Jokes Thu Aug 20, 2009 4:05 am

Heh, I'm an idiot! flower

IT'S A LIE! *beams stupid smile*

The baby jokes are amusing... I find the weirdest things amusing!!

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Catching Rain · Subject: Re: Jokes Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:13 am

Eheheheh, I fell for it.

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PrincessJaded · Subject: Re: Jokes Thu Aug 20, 2009 7:08 am

For once, my sister and her useless info has come in handy.

I knew the tooth thing already! Woot woot!

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SugarSpiral · Subject: Re: Jokes Thu Aug 20, 2009 11:55 am

I fell for it too...

Sorry if I upset anybody with the dead baby jokes.

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xReadItAndWeepx · Subject: Re: Jokes Thu Aug 20, 2009 3:28 pm

It's probably corny but I like Chuck Norris jokes.

Chuck Norris Facts:

Chuck Norris destroyed the Periodic Table because Chuck Norris only reconizes the element of surprise.

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

On the set of Walker Texas Ranger Chuck Norris brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Chuck Norris then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

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Potgenie · Subject: Re: Jokes Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:17 pm

This is gonna sound like a really stupid question... but who is Chuck Norris?

Embarassed

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Na-cat · Subject: Re: Jokes Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:44 pm

I only know him by name, you're not alone here Embarassed

And I once came across a list like that for Steve Irwin; he's my hero. (Yes, I know he's dead, the three year anniversary of his death is coming up.)

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PrincessJaded · Subject: Re: Jokes Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:24 pm

Yeah, this is gonna sound like a kill joy... but I think the Chuck Norris stuff is stupid. I might just be bored of it - having heard it over and over.

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smile-in-ur-sleep · Subject: Re: Jokes Thu Aug 20, 2009 9:17 pm

My friend Ryan is the King of Chuck Norris jokes.

Aana, you satiated my morbidity quotient for the day. Thank you.

Now, Chuck Norris is a martial arts black belt that was in a show called Walker Texas Ranger and for some reason, these jokes came out. I adore them. Smile

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Goggles · Subject: Re: Jokes Fri Aug 21, 2009 2:39 am

According to Einstein's Theory of Relativity, Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you yesterday.

If you had five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, then Chuck Norris has more money than you.

In the far east, there is a legend of a man born in the year of the dragon. He will rise up like a phoenix and save the world from total annihilation. Chuck Norris is not that man; he killed that man yesterday.

_________________
And so they took a statement, the truth of which was deemed absolute and made a claim that contradicted it. Lo and behold; it, too, was true.
-Arceo

Help me feed my digi!
[url]http://www.digi-adopt.com/profile.php?owner=Goggles[/url]

Catching Rain · Subject: Re: Jokes Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:47 am

Chuck Norris is kinda overratd. Now Billy Mays... XDDD

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Goggles · Subject: Re: Jokes Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:59 am

overrated is an understatement.

Who's Billy Mays?

_________________
And so they took a statement, the truth of which was deemed absolute and made a claim that contradicted it. Lo and behold; it, too, was true.
-Arceo

Help me feed my digi!
[url]http://www.digi-adopt.com/profile.php?owner=Goggles[/url]

smile-in-ur-sleep · Subject: Re: Jokes Fri Aug 21, 2009 4:49 pm

Billy Mays is/was [may he rest in peace] probably the biggest infomercial persona ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3KEkBqDahg <-- he's the guy in blue with the beard and AWESOME voice. He'd be like, "HI! BILLY MAYS HERE FOR [insert product here]!"

He did infomercials for...

Awesome Auger
Big City Slider Station
The Ding King
ESPN360
Flies Away
Gopher
Grater Plater
Grip Wrench
Handy Switch
Hercules Hook
iCan
iTie
Kaboom!
Mighty Mendit
Mighty Putty
Mighty Putty Steel
Might Putty Super Pack
Mighty Putty Wood
Mighty Tape
Orange Glo
OxiClean
Quick Chop
Samurai Shark
Simoniz Fix-It
Tool Band-it
Turbo Tiger
Ultimate Chopper
Vidalia Slice Wizard
WashMatik
What Odor?
Zorbeez

I bolded his more famous products.

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love is like a thunderstorm ~ electricity and sparks ~ connecting earth and sky

"Kills All Known Iori - Dead." Where can I find this magic product?

Potgenie · Subject: Re: Jokes Fri Aug 21, 2009 6:30 pm

Sadly enough, I've never heard of any of those products before besides ESPN360. :S

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