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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 01, 2009 11:02 pm

At first the girl who reads sounds like crap... but then you get used to it!

I love Breaking Dawn, because they have a guy read Jake's part! I like his voice.


YES! Jazzeh, NO STRIPPING!
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 01, 2009 11:03 pm

And I was kind of looking forward to the stripping. Shark boy has a great body now.
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 01, 2009 11:15 pm

His smexness is ah-maz-ing.

But what if I want the stripping?!
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 01, 2009 11:16 pm

I did too! I meant that there WASN'T any... he started off shirtless and then was the RUN-JUMP-POOF!
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 01, 2009 11:20 pm

Defeated again by Poof...
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:46 pm

damn the poofing.
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:35 am

Personally, I was overcome by the sight of him in his shirt-less state and therefore barely noticed the crappiness of the changing-into-a-werewolf part.

*cough*

But I'll go re-watch it now, and try not to squeal/swoon.

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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:36 am

I told you!!! Shark Boy has an UH-MAY-ZING body now!!! And then he jumps over the thingy... *drool*
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Wed Jun 03, 2009 10:00 pm

'scuse me while I steal him from the trailer and eat him up.
mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

EDIT: enjoy.


Last edited by smile-in-ur-sleep on Wed Jun 03, 2009 11:36 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : omg epic dA link.)
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PostSubject: Twilight's Science Fail.   Sun Jun 21, 2009 4:07 pm

Those of you who -like me- can't stand the complete lack of logic in Twilight, should enjoy this:


Taken from: here

Quote :
Why Nessie shouldn't exist:

Nessie (because I can't spell her full name) is a perfect hybrid. She even beat Bella for the Mary Sue prize. She's adorable, quiet, beautiful, has a power (aren't those supposed to be RARE?) and all-around... perfect. This perfect little bloodsucker shouldn't exist. WARNING: THIS IS FOR MATURE TWILIGHTERS ONLY! MEANING: 13 AND UP, AT LEAST.
I'll start with her conception.

To begin with, Nessie's chances of being concieved are absolutely 0%. Here's why:
Edward has often been described as "ice cold." Sperm need a certain heat to survive. If Edward was, in fact, as icy as Bella thinks he is, the sperm wouldn't survive. Assuming there is sperm, I mean. According to Meyer, when one is turned into a vampire, not only are they frozen in a permanent state of being (basically, Edward wouldn't be able to make any more sperm), BUT all of their bodily fluids are turned into vampiric venom (apparently, even the venom in their eyes - BD, page 501). Even if they were capable of having sex, his venom/semen would literally eat away at her from the inside, effectively turning her into a female Adonis, or killing her.
Basically, there is no way Renesmee (I FIGURED IT OUT Very Happy ) could have been concieved.

Okay, so let's assume that Nessie WAS concieved, although it's impossible.
According to Meyer, vampires have 25 chromosomes, werewolves (and our darling hell-child) have 24, while humans have 23. Even if Nessie was concieved, the chromosomes match up during miosis, and there would therefore have been two extra chromosomes left over. Now, I don't know much about Downs syndrome, but I'm pretty sure that they have 24 chromosomes. Wait, wouldn't that make BOTH the werewolves and Nessie have Downs syndrome?
(I'm sorry, I had to pause right here. My hands literally started shaking with anger)
I'm not going to elaborate on the "chromosome" problem any more, as I think the evidence that I've given has already adequately killed Meyer's theories.

[[Extra Special Section: If the werewolf gene is hereditary, why would their "powers" only show up in their teens, if it is, in fact, a gene that is obtained at birth (and not an STD)? In addition, why is it all males (with ONE exception) that are werewolves? Even if there WAS an explanation for the reason why only guys become werewolves, it must have to do with their not having periods, as Leah is going through menopause.]]

Moving on... To Nessie's time in Bella's womb.

Despite the fact that Twilight (and it's sequels) are fiction, Meyer has placed the events in our world. Therefore, a human should follow the guidelines from this world.
1. If Bella's pregnancy happened as quickly as Meyer said it did, she likely would have committed suicide from the raging hormones.
2. Bella's skin would have been scarred beyond repair, as a woman's skin is not meant to stretch over a foot in UNDER A MONTH. In addition, Nessie is covered in a "marble-hard covering" over Bella's amniotic sac. THAT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE. jfdaklfdahiogbs''sajfdn afd;jk;ahfaklj;
3. Bella's body should have violently rejected Renesmee, causing her to have a miscarriage.

I'll excuse the gory, gory birth of the demon hell-child for now, because I understand that this IS a fiction book, and hey, if Meyer wants to make her vampire hubby eat his daughter's "protective covering" off of his wife's stomach (not to mention break every bone in her protagonist's body), then she can be my guest.

Jacob's imprinting on Nessie should not have happened. Imprinting, as explained by Meyer, is a survival mechanism for werewolves - to ensure that they fall in love with someone who can more easily further the werewolf line! I'll ignore how unbelievably sexist that is for now, and save that topic for another rant. How is our little half-vampire a good choice, for any evolutionary standard? Especially one who has Downs syndrome? Not only has there been a notorious hatred between the vampires and werewolves, that actually goes WAY back into mythology, but I doubt that, by an evolutionary standard, a fully grown man would imprint on a baby who's NOT EVEN A DAY OLD? Charles Darwin is rolling in his grave.

Lastly, Nessie's rapid growth. Assuming that her body can meet all the standards (for example, her skin not bursting because she's growing SO quickly), how is she not eating constantly? to fuel her body's accelerated growth? In addition, why is she not frequently in pain from the growth spurts? I can tell from experience - growing pains hurt. A LOT.

Even her psychology would be significantly messed up. According to Erikson, who's theory is accepted worldwide, she would have (by Bella's calculations) three years to adequately complete 6 stages of psychological development.

[For those who have NO idea what I'm talking about, Erikson's developmental stages outline the challenges that must be overcome in each stage of human development, and the consequence if the challenge is not overcome. Here's a website to understand the concept: http://www.kheper.net/topics/psychology/Erikson.html.]

In each stage of development, there is a crucial psychological crisis that must be overcome, or else the child will suffer greatly. Nessie, in under three years, would have to cram almost 20 years of hardship into her life.
These conflicts include:
Trust vs. Mistrust
Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt
Initiative vs. Guilt
Industry vs. Inferiority
Identity vs. Role Confusion/Diffusion
Intimacy vs. Isolation

I especially would stress the last two, as Nessie already has her lifetime's partner determined for her. Therefore, she would not have a need to learn who she is, or what she likes in a person - and would immediately accept Jacob - nor would she be able to adequately identify the "intimacy vs. isolation" conflict, and overcome it. This is due to her being groomed her whole life as a mate for Jacob, and her lack of knowledge of other relationships.

Assuming a person has a 50% chance of becoming psychologically disabled in each step, it can be inferred that Nessie's chance is SIGNIFICANTLY higher, not only because of the stresses placed on her mind, and emotional wellbeing, but the time period in which she needs to fit each into. Think about it. After one month (approx.), a newborn child has turned into a (about) 4-year old. Nessie would be in the middle of her Phallic stage (for the sake of trying to not get banned, I won't elaborate on the focus of that stage), and has fit FOUR YEARS of potential screw-ups into one month. Supernatural family or not, that's insane and unhealthy.

Ergo, Nessie would either be perverted and deviant from the normal child, or she would be dead. That's assuming she would even have been concieved at all.




[Author's Note: Wow, I had so much fun writing this. It may be hard to believe that I liked this, but it's entirely true. The only thing that makes me infuriated is Meyer's apparent lack of attention to the sciences. It makes me doubt that she even went to middle school.
I really wanted tor try to fit in a way how Nessie's epic Mary Sue-ness fit in, but I couldn't make it work. I'll post that topic soon enough.

TODAY'S LESSON: Don't try to explain impossible events with science. It will ALWAYS end up with epicFAIL.

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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Sun Jun 21, 2009 6:10 pm

Perfect analysis of BD's failness. Thank you.
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:16 am

I was laughing my arse off the entire way through that. Thank you, Nina!
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:09 pm

No prob! Cool
I'm always happy to provide a laugh at Twilight's expense.

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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Wed Jun 24, 2009 11:32 pm

The way that Nessie was conceived and the genetics invovled is illogical.

But what Nessie is, a vampire human hybrid has been done before in folklore in literature. The technical term for what she is would be damphir.

Damphirs are very popular in Eastern European folklore; they are the product of a vampire male and a human female reproducing. In the folkore, dhampirs usually become vampire hunters because they are stronger/faster than regular human beings. They can go out in daylight and are resistant to other classical vampire kryptonites. The limit of the abilities of the damphir depend on the folklore or piece of literature in which they feature. Examples: Blade and Vampire Hunter D.

So damphirs, in and of themselves, are not illogical. Though admitably, the vampire venom does make it an imposibility in the Twilight universe.

Now onto the werewolves.

It does make sense why there is only one female werewolf if you think about the genetics of it. First, the way I picture the 'werewolf gene' works works like color blindness.

Women have the XX chromosome while men have the XY chromosome. Now with color blindness (and possibly the 'werewolf gene') as with other genes like it, it is sex-linked and is carried on the X chromosome.

Children inherit half their chromosomes from the mother and the other half from their father. Since color blindness is linked with the X chromosome, boys are more likely to be color blind than girls because unline girls they have only 1 X chromosome; most girls are not color blind because they have the second uninfected X chromosome.

Most women are therefore carriers of color blindness, meaning they are not afflicted with it due to have two X chromosomes but can pass it onto their sons. Now there are some women who are color blind; for a woman to be color blind the two following conditions have to be met: the mother has to be a carrier and the father has to be color blind.

That could explain why: 1) there is only one female werewolf in existence in Twilight and 2) why not every teenaged male of the Quilietues (sp?) can become werewolves.

As I see it, for a boy to become a werewolf his mother must carry the gene for it. For example: Jacob Black is the only werewolf out of his siblings because only his mother had the 'werewolf gene' while his father, though descended from a werewolf, does not.

Leah's (the female werewolf in question) mother is obviously a carrier, which is why Leah's brother Seth is a werwolf. Now her father must be a werewolf: only he is a werewolf without the ability to turn into his other form. I think this is possible due to the paranormal aspect of the 'werewolf gene' namely that certain conditions have to be met for the gene to allow its possesor to turn into a wolf.

The conditions are:

1) The person has to be the right age, which is for all intents and purposes somewhere in the teens.

2) There has to be a strong vampire presence in the area.

When this generations werewolves' parents were teenagers the Cullens did not reside in the Forks area. A vampire or two could have passed through, but for the gene to activate there most be more than a couple vampires in the area. This is why no one in Billy Black's (Jacob's father) generation had ever transformed into a wolf.

One more thing. The part about the werewolve's impritning being for making stronger werewolf children may not be true. At the time of Twilight, that belief is only a theory. Not absolute fact. Just a theory. No one knows exactly why the werewolves imprint.

So this was my opionon.
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Thu Jun 25, 2009 4:33 am

True dat, my friend. (lol epicFAIL)
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Sun Jun 28, 2009 6:01 pm

Yep 100% true!
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 29, 2009 8:17 pm

Nina, I love you for that.

And well argued, Caitlin. I love you too ,3

But does anyone else find it a leetle bit annoying that Meyer left herself so many loop holes- like all her "theories"?

...Perhaps she realised her books were going to get the flame?

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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 29, 2009 8:24 pm

Did anyone ever get their hands on the leaked copy of Edward's version of Twilight?

It covers a lot more of the vampiric side and how big of an impact Edward's family has, aside from what we see through the idiot's (Bella, Razz ) eyes.


But yeah, I don't like the fact that I was left with too many, WTF!? moments.
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:26 pm

Or maybe she really DID use an Anne Rice manuscript?!

& I read Edward's side. omg. Gary Stu overload much?
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:33 pm

A little but I preferred his version to hers.


It's really more like the Sooki Stackhouse novels more than Lestat.
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:02 pm

I liked Edward's point-of-view book as well; it made me understand him more and why he was so attracted to Bella. Too bad Midnight Sun is on indefinite hiatus.

And I love the Sookie Stackhouse books. EricxSookie forever!
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:30 pm

I hope you people don't hate me for this, but I've got to get one thing straight about me: I used to be a huge Twilight fan. I was 12 when I read the first book, and, like all good fangirls, became instantly obsessed. It was slightly pitiful. My friends were all like that and I was happy to join them in their "ZOMG EDDIE!!1" rants. Then, at the end of this school term, I was like, "WHAT THE FRICK WAS I THINKING?!"

Going into my freshman year, I have (finally) realized that Twilight had many huge literary problems (among many other kinds of issues, as well):

A) no characters with much of a personality independant of their romantic interest.

B) lack of plot Honestly, the whole thing was SO. ANTICLIMATIC. Ew.

C) Bella in general. Let me go on a little about this. SHE'S SOOOO BORING AND WHINY!! She has no life. She pines over a "perfect" being. She's totally pineapple (brunette on the outside, blonde on the inside). AND SHE HAS NO PERSONALITY. She's like, "EdwardEdwardEdward" and that's it. She has no hobbies, no favorite bands, no obsessions, she's just not normal! How girls think that she's a role model is beyond me. She has absolutely no backbone, nor any other trait that an decent book heroine should have (in the opinion of a girl whos read a great many crappy books, all of which are better than Twilight to some extent).

D) the supposed "perfection" of Edward and the standards he upholds. Personally, I think this is rather ridiculous. I don't know a single person in my whole school/town/probably even STATE that meets any of Edward's criteria. Seriously, someone like that is either A) a pedophile or B) just a plain sketchball. Its physically impossible to be as "perfect" as him. And besides, he only has two things going for him; musical talent (idk about any of you, but I LOVE a guy who's into music) and his messy red hair (just cuz it reminds me of the Weasly's from Harry Potter).

Don't even get me STARTED about the flaws of the movie in comparison. I'm only going to say this: Twilight the movie had one good thing about it, and that was the score.

Carter Burwell did a fantastic job with the score and a couple of the bands they chose to use (Mutemath and Muse to be exact) really evened out the soundtrack. No matter how much crap music they ended up using.

And don't even ask about how crappy Twilight is in comparison to Harry Potter. I will give you so many reasons you people will probably get sick of me and hate me so much (haha, jk.) But I really do have a lot of reasons for that.

So, this has been BandGeek, signing off. Wink
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:34 pm

As much I sorta like Bill, and Sookie (correct spelling, right?) does annoy me, I do like me so yummy blondilicious Eric! lol.

But yeah, it is a bummer that Midnight Sun has halted. I would have bought it, regardless of my plot hole qualms.


And I doubt anyone will hate you. We all (or almost all) feel the same way. Wink
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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Mon Jun 29, 2009 11:41 pm

I think everyone who posts on this topic has been a Twilight fan at some point...

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PostSubject: Re: Twilight   Tue Jun 30, 2009 12:00 am

Yeah I was when I was reading it.
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